5 Practices For A Calm And Peaceful Life
It’s in your hands to create your life.
How come everything in her life so peaceful? is one of the questions I wondered most when I met my friend after two years. It’s crazy how some people’s life seems like an invitation to chaos and other’s to be a paradise.
It’s a complex subject, mainly due to many reasons like different life circumstances, upbringings, or cultures. But no matter how much I researched the ways to make my life easier, it always boiled down to the individual perception towards everything.
I know now, it’s just not about the perception. But there are some common practices that help in making life much more easygoing.
1. Positive self-talk
The longest relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.
Truth to be told the longest you will ever live is with yourself so why shouldn’t it be a positive and kind bond. This is something I have personally struggled with. I had constant negative self-talk targeted at every decision and choice I made in the past.
Name-calling, badgering, judging ourselves is all most of us do. But why are we kind to other’s mistakes and intolerant towards ourselves? Why can't we be as forgiving and accepting as we advise others?
I remember being extremely shitty to myself every time something unexpected happened. I analyzed all my negatively held beliefs towards myself and eventually learned to practice self-love.
People who attain peace and handles obstacles in life modestly, always have emphatic self-talk directed towards self. They are kind, trusting, and forgiving to themselves and others. They realize that the road to inner peace is through self-love.
2. Not reacting to the drama
The lesser you respond to negative people, the more your life becomes peaceful.
Most of us think we have no control over our lives when it comes to relationships. But it is surprising to see, how much we victimize ourselves based on other’s behavior:
You have no control over how others behave or say to you. But you can choose how to react to the situation. Regardless of how people misbehave, it doesn’t show your character.
The only thing that reflects your character is your behavior and response towards the drama.
People with a certain outlook learn to recognize good vs negative people based on the impact they have on their lives. This habit of managing emotions and be pro-peace can help in experiencing life, not merely reacting to it.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Assumptions are the termites of relationships- Henry Winkler
Honestly, it is more comfortable to assume what’s happening behind the curtains instead of making efforts to know the reality. By assuming we become oblivious to reality and unconsciously create drama.
Our assumptions are based on our previous experiences and expectations we have set in the past. By making assumptions, we believe the thoughts to be true, we tend to react and create emotional drama for nothing.
As mentioned as the third agreement in the book “The Four Agreements” the best way to overcome this negative habit is by:
- Finding the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
- Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
By asking questions and communicating with others, we allow ourselves to be free from the web of negative emotions. When you ask questions and communicate you give others and yourself the opportunity to build a relationship based on trust.
4. Act according to personal values
It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are- Roy Disney
Personal values define our perception of the world, actions, and problems. The quality of personal values defines the quality of our life and has an equivalent effect on our lives. They impact every decision and choice we make and define who we are.
Some of us value honesty and loyalty, and that reflects in the choice of friends we like to hang out with. Some of us value to value to complain less and be action-oriented for resolving issues, but some of us value to complain and take no action whatsoever.
In order to have a harmonious and peaceful life, we need to define our personal values and choose our actions accordingly. When you realign your goals and learn to consider things in alignment with your values everything falls back in place.
A lot of discontent in our life comes from a place of irritation, negativity, and hopelessness. But when we start to choose actions based on our personal values, we inevitably feel more in control and satisfied.
5. Let go of the past
Your peace is mor important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go — Mandy Hale
It’s hard to have inner peace when something hurtful has happened in life. It’s simpler to have grudges against others but difficult to let go.
I know a few people in life who still hold grudges for 20 years and it doesn’t make any sense to me, to feel furious in the same way you felt 20 years ago.
One of the primary traits that separate you from a well-disposed person is their ability to let go of the past. To no longer feel the need to relive the incident that happened in the past. We as human beings are curious beings, and we want to know the reason behind every existence.
But you need to learn to have the patience to let circumstances unfold on its own. To have the inner peace that you are looking for, you need to learn to let go of the pain and forgive others and yourselves in the process.
A complete Gist.
Few habits attract extraordinary circumstances and some lead to frustration. Every day in our life we make choices, and these choices make us who we are. I believe sometimes we don’t have control over what happens to us, but our reactions and thoughts towards it, are something we can always control. To lead a more tranquil life try to cultivate these practices -
- Positive self-talk
- Avoid reacting to the drama
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Act according to personal values.
- Let go of the past.
